You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
