yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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