you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
