talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
