well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
