At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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