You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
