bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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