I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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