i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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