Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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