How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
