Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize