Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
