Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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