It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
