capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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