we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
