she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
