I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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