Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
