Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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