i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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