mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
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