Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
