Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
