took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
love makes seman taste better
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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