You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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