I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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