I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
