you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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