what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
