butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
