She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
