why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
