I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
