I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
