Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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