I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
