If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize