So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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