he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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