duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize