Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
