saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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