Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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