I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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