Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
