Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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