So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
