so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
