I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
