Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
