you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
