I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize