it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
