AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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